Friday, May 18, 2012

IS this real life?? And many thank yous

All I can say is wow! Today is the day I graduate high school. I never thought this day would come. For those of you who don't know me, since middle school I've been on an uphill battle with multiple illnesses that took forever to diagnos and numerous doctors (some that were fired by my family) to get to where I am today. The reason I never thought I would graduate was not because I had trouble in school, I was always in honor and AP programs back in public school, but the daily battle I had with my body. Getting up was so tough let alone get ready for school. That's what brought me to Cassata. It's a self pace private high school. You work on your own and your teacher is there to help and push you. Unlike most schools, it was only 3 hours. But that was too much for my body at times. Because I was smart I could have finished school in 1-2 year(s). But because I wasn't at school it took longer. Now, because I am focusing on moving on, I just got my GED to get school over with. But still, it was hard work. The GED test was easy but I still feel those gruesome hours working on school work, pages of notebook paper, and heavy textbooks up and down killer stairs paid of.
     And with class, I stick it to all those haters and nonbelievers. You tried to tear me down through out the years but you didn't win. You may have knocked me down but I got back up my God is bigger than any storm you try to give me. You said stuff like my pain wasn't real, I was getting my grades handed to me, and even considered me a dropout when I transferred schools. You tried to get my family in trouble with the law, it's called homebound keyword, HOME. You tried to intimidate my family and I to think we had no chance elsewhere when we did. There's a quote I found it talks about how people rain on your parade because they are tired of the shade from your sunshine and Taylor Swift says it herself, "people throw rocks at things that shine" well all the negative you gave me became a positive. You fueled me to work and fight harder. I appreciate the little thing more because of what you said and did. I am so greatful for every moment in my life. And so, I also want to thank you all you haters and nonbelievers, sometimes we need negativity instead of all positivity to push us forward and well, that's what you did. I would also like to say that I forgive you as well. 
     And now for some happier things!
     I would like to give thanks and praise to those who did believe in me and who stuck by my side especially since the begining. You guys are awesome! Even if you didn't know what to say or do you just showed your love to me and lifted my spirits. Your prayers helped heal me. A special thanks to all those who came to visit me in the hospital, kept me company via facebook, texting, etc, and to those who went above and beyond. But also yall treated me normal like nothing was wrong which means so much to me as well.
     My high school sweetheart who had issues of his own but would drop everything asap to be there for me. Who held me when I wasn't feeling good. Who was honest to me good or bad, who came to the hospital to be with me when he absolutely hates them, and who also stayed with me even though because of all my sickness I reminded him of his deceased mother. I will always love you and will never love anyone like I love you, your tenderness always helped. Just talking to you or getting a hug even smelling your scent always calmed me down when nothing else did. Sometimes hearing things from you even if I heard it from the rest of the world stuck when you said it. 
     To my church, from rosaries, chaplets, and just regular prayer you guys lifted my soul to God and not only heal me physically but spiritually. You were there for me and my family. You guys were the ones who kept my parents and I out of the crazy house. From all this to rides, and more you helped my family tremendously. 
     To my school, I have to specifically mention Mrs. Martin, Mrs. Fowler, Mr. Anderson, and Mrs. Cheatham. Man, you guys are really the best thing ever. You always made sure I was okay, made me laugh when I needed it, guide me through life, support me, and push me. When the decision came to get my GED instead of diploma and I wasn't sure yall reassured me that this is what's best for me. That although I was close it was time to move on with my life and that I'll be just find. It is because of yall along with other teachers that I will smile when I look back at my years at Cassata. 
     To my girls most of yall i've known since kindergarten. Even though distance and time kept us apart off and on we would act like it never happened. You girls have my heart and I love yall so much. Thanks for being there for me at all times. I will always have crazy memories of us but also sincere moments where we had deep conversations.
     To all those who have treated me medically, without your perservernce man, I have no idea where I would be. From finding what's wrong with me to treating me with the most affect way that wouldnt make other things worst or cost too much you guys worked so hard.
    To those new to my life now, yall accepted me for who I am. You help push me and do your best to help but also treat me normal and not like some china doll. Yall watch out for me and aren't afraid to ask question about my illnesses.
     But most of all, to my family. My brother and his family for being there when they can, helping me get out when I was feeling well enough. Other members who would pray for us and send encouraging words. And of course, my parents. You saw me suffer through so much pain, I learned how that felt when Mikey was sick and dad had pneoumia. You want to do anything you possibly can to help even if it was taking the pain yourself. But all that you could was comfort me and give me meds and thats all, even then sometimes it didnt work. Your sacrifice of work hours, sleep, and money will forever be appreciated. You guys are my rock. Yall formed me into the woman I am today and I am forever greatful for everything. We have our ups and downs but as far as I'm concern, yall are the best parents ever. Yeah you could have laid off on the overprotectiveness but I understand that you want to protect your child, especially your youngest.
Well, I should get some shut eye! Got a long day tomorrow!

1 comment:

  1. alyssa,
    that was a very nice read. i love you and miss you so much. i have seen the ups and downs and watched you grow up. i wish i could be there tomorrow but that is a big day for me also. i start my journey back home. cant wait to see you. wish you could be there to welcome me home. i love you sis. good luck in everything you do!