Monday, July 20, 2015

As you might remember I'm trying to blog more and in doing so, I'm trying to post my really long Facebook post here. I'm pretty sure this is my first time actually doing this so let me know what yall think!

Also, I'm on my phone so sorry if the format is a little weird/different than what I normally use.

People always say I'm really strong or how they're amazed I haven't lost my faith despite having to loose and give up so many things in my life; going to a "normal" school, being an AP student, my sports, my music, driving, working and even just going to church. And my answer has always been how could I not?

And with yet another trend of people getting engaged, married, graduating, expecting or just having a baby its been a little bit tougher, but what's been really hard? Seeing people travel the world.

With my depression I'm use to not feeling the greatest but i knew it wasn't me, it was my depression but this? I can't help and think that this is truly me feeling bitter about something I currently can't do and not sure if I'll be able to do. And honestly, I'm not use to this. It's really, really, really easy for me to stay positive. Probably a little too easy in some people's opinion but it's just how I am.

It drives me crazy I feel this way! Nothing good comes out of this. I'm not like some people who gets a kick out of being this way because they get attention or their fill of drama. And to me, it's stupid to feel negative towards someone when they haven't done a single thing to you!

The point of this post? There isn't one really. Just me being honest with you and myself about how I'm feeling. I know a lot of my spoonie friends can relate to me and maybe other people can too and maybe this is my way of dealing with it. Maybe me fessing up will help me not be this way who knows, only time can tell.

I hope everyone has a great week with plenty of spoons!

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