So it's been awhile since I've post. Not much has happened. Went on a two week vacation with my boyfriend and his family, brother got back from afghanistan, and dealing with my physical health lately.

   Question for my audience out there, do you ever wish, hope pray, etc for something so bad that once it finally happens you're totally over it? Yes? No?

   Well that is me. Let's call the guy Peter. Ever since Peter and I broke up (it was a really bad break up) all I wanted was his friendship. That was it. Yes i still had feelings for him but I just really wanted his friendship. You see Peter was my first love, the guy I lost my virginity to, (sorry family reading this but I said I was gonna be honest) he was my high school sweetheart that I SWORE I was going to marry. Yes, I was that nievve girl thinking that my first true love was going to last no matter what, eve almost 2,000 miles and freshman year of his college years. Anyways, we broke up, it was messy. Then afterwards I would beg and plea for his friendship only to make things even worst. Recently we've been talking over facebook and we're actually being civil, be shock I know. But now that things are going smooth I don't know if I still want his friendship. I mean I'm still giving him a chance at friendship though. It's just, I was blind, I thought for the longest time that this is the best out there and I'll never find anything like this or better. Boy was I wrong! When he started talking to me again it made me realize things about him that I never noticed. Yes everyone has their flaws but these were things that REALLY bugged me. It made me wonder about how our relationship when we were together. I'm not saying we didn't have a good relationship, we did, it has plenty of memories and uniqueness but there were areas that was "blinded by love" which i'm not saying is good or bad. I honestly dont know if it is one or the other. But it was definitely a learning experience.

   Currently I am battling pain on my lower right side, they think it might be adhesions. sorry for a short post but I felt guilty for not posting anything in awhile even though I probably made no sense because of the hydrocodon.