Tuesday, July 17, 2012

let's talk about love...

Ok so I haven't slept at all so if I make no sense what so ever, you know why.
I want to talk about love. All our life we're told what love is or how to love. But how can you do so? There's the five love languages, which are different ways how you show someone you love them and how you desire to be loved. For those of you who are not familiar with this I'll briefly explain them. The first language is Words of Affirmation- i love you, you look beautiful, what would i do without you, etc. The second love language is Quality time- putting down the remote (or laptop) to listen to someone. The third is receiving gifts, as in THOUGHTFUL gifts, such as, oh i saw this at the store the other day and I totally had to get it for you. The fourth is act of service- no, let me do the laundry this time, hey I'll watch the kids tonight you guys go on a date. The last one is physical touch, and not just the behind the closed doors stuff, its holding hands, a pat on the back, or even a high five.
The five love languages are not just lover to lover but on any type of relationships. You can show or want more than one kind but most the time one or two dominates.
     So proving there's different ways to love brings me to my next thought. I myself have truly been in love 3 times. I personally believe there are different kind of love, now bare with me here people.
     My first love was i guess what you could call puppy dog love, ya know, you love everything the other person did, there was no pushing of buttons, you both liked the exact same thing and if not they introduced you to it and you fell in love with it. There was not a thing in the world this person could do wrong and you thought they were perfect if not, near it. You most likely never ever fought with this person and hardly had any negative feelings.
   My second love is my high school sweetheart. Guess we can call it blinded by love? This love when it happened was like woah, ok this is love, like REAL love that people get married over. You would do anything and everything to make that person happy even if in the very end it was getting rid of you. This love can be complicated, there's a lot of back and forth. You go through stages where when you are in the separation stage you fight for yalls love. Ya know the take me back please, i can't live without you etc. But then there's also a short most of the time, acceptance stage where you just care about them being happy even if it's not with you. I call this blinded by love because it is not till after the whole relationship is over do you see the persons flaws and wonder how the hell you stayed with that person for sooooo long and was able to put up with them. It is also a blind love because you have a "reputation" or mold to fill and constantly feel forced, aware or not, to act, be, or even in some people's cases, look a certain way. Don't get me wrong, this love can be amazing and a lot of work but in the end has you scratching your head sometimes.
  My third and current love is by far the best. I'm not just saying this  because I am currently with the person and doubt he reads this blog.... probably doesn't even know I have this blog.... anywho... I don't want to call this true love or the one because it'll be considered cheesy, so let's call it the accepting love. This form of love is when you can tell this person anything with no hesitation. Blunt honesty, no stutter, no trying to say it but you get tongue tied or just can't spit it out, you're always just able to tell them. Its something I've never had in any relationship before except with one other person who is my i guess girl version of my boyfriend. It's amazing because they know ALL of your dirt, how you think, how you're annoying, and yet don't judge you which means they never think less of you. These relationships you are able to tell things you've NEVER or have had a hard time telling other people about. Example, my boyfriend knows things about what I've been through that no one else knows. Yes. That kind of love.
     Which brings me to the point of this post. All our lives we wait for what we were taught or view love when most likely it's not going to happen that way. I mean my generation grew up with this poor poor girl gets saved by a knight in shinning armor, because a princess, and lives happily ever after. umm.... reality check??? Or society now is saying love is sex and lots of it. Now don't get me wrong with this next part, i LOVE my religion and faith I truly do, but we're taught that if we devote ourselves to our faith we'll find our significant other... ya know, the whole "A woman should be so in love with God that a man must seek him in order to find him" now I'm not saying that doesn't have truth in it. I believe God makes what should happen happen regardless but, I disagree with the whole we must be so devoted to serve him to find the one.
     Keeping on the religious note, God even has different ways of loving. There's the ever loving and forgiving  and tough love side. Just like our parents. Even that brings up another love which I'll just categorize as family.
     We're taught about love all our life. When all I think is to it is this.
You'll know love when you have it.
No how to, no what to expect, no building of expectations, just plain and simple. Because we all love in a different way, show love differently, and at least in my case feel love differently with different people/relationships.

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